Thanksgiving Jokes

These jokes come from GetAmused.com.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Wing Wing

When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I'll tell you at Christmas.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

How much did the Mayflower weigh?
A Puri-TON

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language

What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers

What do Hippies put on their Thanksgiving potatoes?
Groovy

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

What happened when the turkey met the axe?
He lost his head!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?

When did the Pilgrims first say "God bless America?"
The first time they heard America sneeze!

What are unhappy cranberries called?
Blueberries!

What do you call the dirt on a Pilgrim's hands?
Pilgrime!

What is your favourite thing to make for Thanksgiving dinner?
Reservations!

Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?
He was stuffed!

What cat discovered America?
Christofurry Columbus!

Why was the monster tickled when he ate the turkey?
Because he forgot to pluck the feathers!

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Lots of drumsticks!

When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
On their feet!

What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth!

What kind of vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?
Beets me!

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet.

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter "g"!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to wait long to eat?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle I do if you don't open the door?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, I'm hungry!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren't you?

What do rich people eat on Thanksgiving?
14 Karats

Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it

Why don't you eat fish on Thanksgiving?
Because Thanksgiving never falls on a FRY-day.